


I Believe the Children Are Our Future

by bloomejasmine



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alien Shiros, All the alien Shiros, Crack, Everyone else is having fun at Keith's expense, It is universally understood and known that Keith is a bottom, It's gonna be memetastic guys, Keith "I am not a size queen" Kogane, Keith can get pregnant, Keith deserves all the Shiros, Kolivan is serious, Krolia wants a grandkid, M/M, Other, Sheith Big Meme 2019, Smutty and suggestive language but no actual smut action, unbeated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-20 20:48:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18532894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloomejasmine/pseuds/bloomejasmine
Summary: “You are sexually attracted to the former Black Paladin,” Kolivan explained patiently, like Keith was an extremely slow child having a difficulty grasping a simple concept, “Therefore we are picking as many version of Takashi Shirogane from different universes to ensure your attraction and sexual compatibility.”In want of an heir for the Blades, Kolivan and Krolia concocted a creative solution to their plight.





	I Believe the Children Are Our Future

**Author's Note:**

> For Sheith Big Meme Challenge!! Will be illustrated by bootyshortskeef and cinnanaan. This fic is going to be so terrible and horny. Enjoy!

“Mate? What do you mean, I have to choose a mate?”

“Or mates, you can choose more than one,” said Kolivan in matter-of-fact tone, as if the quantity of suitors that Keith had to take was the main problem of what he asked of Keith. “It is imperative for the future of our organization that you take a mate as soon as possible, and have a lot of offspring from these encounters.”

Keith could find no word to reply or how to comment on the utter absurdity of Kolivan’s out of the blue request. He closed his eyes, pinched his brow, then his arm to ensure he was not in a dream, and took a deep breath before answering in the calmest tone he could muster, which is not very much.

“Why me?” asked Keith, “We have a lot of other Blades, don’t we? I’m pretty sure most of them are of breeding age. And _moreover_ ,” Keith emphasizes, because he couldn’t stress the importance of this enough, “I’m sure they will be _willing_ to do it.”

“The rest of the Blades is not the leader of Voltron,” argued Kolivan. “They are not the face of the coalition, nor are they respected across the universe. Also Krolia has informed me that your human gene would make breeding especially fast.”

“Nine months are not _fast,_ ” said Keith testily.

“I was born after spending five deca-phoebs in the womb.”

Minutes passed as Keith glared at Kolivan and Kolivan returned the gaze impassively, with his ever-present scowl that would not crack, even as he gave Keith this absurd request. Kolivan wore the same infuriating impassive expression he always did when he had ordered Keith to rig explosives or to navigate impossible path in dangerous vacuum of space.

It must have been insanity that convinced Kolivan that he would be able to make Keith do this. Keith was _fine_. He would keep doing fine even without this. Keith was only too glad and too used for his inappropriate and unreturned pent-up desire for his first and longest friend to be lashed out in sword slashes and whirling kicks towards friends and enemies alike.

“No. No. _No,_ ” said Keith, finally giving in and breaking the unbearable silence. “I will not do this. You cannot make me. You shouldn’t have even _asked_ in the first place. And all the breeding issue aside, I _cannot_ _mate_ ,” Keith’s voice grew shrill and squeaky with panic, a sense of foreboding that there is no escaping this, “with someone I’m not sure I would be attracted to! And there’s no guarantee these people will be attracted to me!”

Kolivan leaped on Keith’s argument immediately.

“Not to worry, your mother and I talked about this and we made sure to choose _suitable_ suitors sure to please your taste, and they are also sure to be pleased by you.”

“Wait, my mother? Does Krolia know about this?”

“The final decision falls to you but,” Kolivan shrugged, “she mentioned that she longs for a lot of grandchildren.”

Now that, _that_ is unfair. There was little Keith would not do for Krolia and everyone knew this. And Keith wondered what Kolivan meant by ‘suitable suitors’.

Oblivious to Keith’s internal thoughts, Kolivan continued on, “She and I have consulted the princess, and she agreed to help with this endeavour. She said Lotor’s help in the matter is undeniable even though she said he was snorting and giggling a lot. Between the two of them, they have found no less than twenty five willing suitors that you will have no objection to.”

“No _objection_?” Keith’s mouth was more teeth than lips by this point. He was going to grow fangs any second. “And what do you mean you seek Allura’s and Lotor’s help? I would have guessed Coran or Lance or even Hunk would be where to turn to in case of… _romance_.” Keith’s nose crunched in distaste

“We need their help getting every version of Takashi Shirogane from every possible universes, of course,” said Kolivan, as if it was the most obvious thing in the universe.

…

…

…

“ _What?_ ”

“You are sexually attracted to the former Black Paladin,” Kolivan explained patiently, like Keith was an extremely slow child having a difficulty grasping a simple concept, “Therefore we are picking as many version of Takashi Shirogane from different universes to ensure your attraction and sexual compatibility.”

Horror and embarrassment slammed through Keith like a tide. Did everyone know? Was he that transparent about his hopeless feelings towards Shiro? Kolivan, Krolia, and Allura knew. _Lotor knew_. It was a good bet the rest of Voltron and Blade of Marmora knew. God, did the Atlas team know too?

 _Did Shiro know?_ Keith wondered, his chest stung with no little amount of pain and shame at the thought. _He must have. If the others have noticed, he must have._

From the haze of his internal crisis, Keith noticed that Kolivan had not stopped talking to him. “...would think you would appreciate it. Lotor and Allura personally oversaw the selection of you potential future mate. There’s a galra version of your Takashi Shirogane named Ji’iro…”

At the mention of the existence of ‘Galran Shiro’ Keith stiffened and paid full attention to Kolivan’s seemingly endless explanation.

“...we would like you to choose him the most, of course. The galra gene would be strengthened. However, Allura and Lotor also managed to get the version of Takashi Shirogane in Alteans, Puigian, Olkari, and even Balmeran. That would also be a good choice for you, the Blade would never run out of fuel…”

Keith blinked rapidly at Kolivan’s priorities.

“...but even in other universes, it seems like your Takashi Shirogane is mostly human after all. Let’s see here.”

Keith’s sense of doom peaked as Kolivan turned on the projector.

But against his better judgement Keith looked, and was unable to look away.

Kolivan flicked through photos after photos of Shiro. Various Shiro. A _lot_ of Shiro.

There was an Altean Shiro, with pale purple hair and cheek marks to match, and before Keith could make his brain work to process the image, it was replaced by…

Galran Shiro.

He knew Galran Shiro existed by way of Kolivan’s previous explanation, but the reality was grander than what he imagined.

Galran Shiro was deep purple in coloring, lighter purple marking slashed down from his long ears into his deep cheekbones. There was a scar running through his brow, down to his cheek, and stopped just above his lips.

Kolivan smiled at the sight, seemingly satisfied by prime galra material. He then looked at Keith’s gaping mouth and said, “You don’t have to choose him. I can understand why you wouldn’t. I’ve seen him and he’s even bigger than Antok.”

Keith’s brain screeched into a halt. His face froze. Bigger than Antok.

Kolivan studied Keith’s slack face with a frown. “Will you at least meet them?” He sounded glum, as glum as Kolivan could possibly sound at the possibility that their hard work would not be appreciated.

 _Of course not_ , Keith was about to say. _This is madness. This stops now._

 _Bigger than Antok_ , Keith’s mind intrusively chanted. He disregarded it.

Keith’s lips formed the words to reject the meeting.

“I’ll meet them.”

Kolivan’s face radiated satisfaction despite his unchanging expression.

 

* * *

 

 

Keith was groomed within an inch of his life, wore what seemed like a caped blade uniform designed to be less practical and more decorative, and ten minutes away from meeting his ‘suitors’ when his situation dawned on him in the earnest.

There was no way getting out of this. Not now. Not while all of his suitors are waiting mere meters away in the same building. Not when Kosmo was suspiciously missing from his side for him to help him running away.

His suitors. Multiple Takashi Shiroganes from multiple realities.

They were going to take a look at his blotchy red face having breathing difficulties and excused themselves promptly, thought Keith grimly. They’d reject Keith, nicely of course, just like _his_ Shiro’s affection was strictly brotherly.

After the last strand of his hair is tucked to be painstakingly arranged, the door slid open to reveal Axca.

“It’s time,” said Axca with a grin. She had been grinning for days. It sat wrong on her usually stoic face. “They’re waiting for you.”

Keith took a deep breath, gathered every bit of courage and dignity he didn’t usually even need to muster during his adventure near death traps, and walked out of the door into a hallway escorted by Axca. Near the entrance of the ballroom of the event, Keith could see both Lotor and Allura, the traitors.

They have explained to him that instead of standing still and waited for each suitor to come to him professing their excellence, the event will instead be more of a casual event because they were—in their words—considering Keith’s nature. Keith would instead mill around the room greeting the Shiros— _suitors_ one by one. Krolia and Kolivan were waiting in the room entertaining them. Keith wondered if they were capable of it.

Lotor could barely hold back his snickers in his explanations.

They opened the door and Keith was hit by the intense urge to run, if only the absurdly decorative clothes made it possible for him to move more than 10 inches at a time.

But as the door opened, no forces in the universe could have turned Keith away from the utter sight that was in the room. He stepped in, dazedly, barely registering Lotor’s and Axca’s suppressed laughter.

All of Shiros’ eyes landed on him as Allura announced his presence. Keith has never felt more self-conscious.

Keith felt himself moving without his permission towards the nearest Shiro, and then noticed Axca’s hand on his elbow urging him on.

The species of this particular ‘Shiro’ seemed similar to Unilu race. He smiled and said, “Hello, I’m Ta’akash,” in an accent so foreign yet so charming. When Keith offered his hand, all of Ta’akash four big warm hands wrapped reverently around his smaller one.

“I’m Keith,” wheezes out Keith, convinced that if he said any more he would say something indescribably stupid. Ta’akash’s clothes vee-ed open at the middle of his muscular chest, which Keith did a barely tolerable job of not checking out.

Ta’akash smile widened, as if Keith’s name was the most wonderful sound in the universe.

“I have heard so much about you, Keith. I’m so glad I travelled across the universe to meet you.” Ta’akash grin and easy smile did nothing good for Keith’s heartbeat. “I would love to be the father of our future children. I’m very confident in my ability to pleasure you in our sexual encounter.”

Keith, braced for rejection, did not expect the loudly proclaimed adoration followed by eager willingness to procreate. To emphasize his point, Ta’akash gathered Keith to his embrace with two of his hands.

“Our species tend to have six to ten children at each conception, so we will soon have a really big family!” he exclaimed cheerfully, loudly, enough for the whole hall to hear.

“I… uh…” stammered Keith, brain frying.

One of Ta’akash four hand moved to caress his cheek while the others were still surrounding his waist, which didn’t help Keith’s attempt to talk.

“He has to see the other suitors first,” interjected Axca smoothly, coming to his rescue. “Come, Keith.”

Keith stumbled as he was dragged to the other Shiro, trying not to be persuaded to come back by the mournful look Ta’akash shot him as he went away.

When he faced the second Shiro, his second suitor looked down on him as he moved his four-eyed glare away from Ta’akash and grinned widely, his mouth full of fangs.

It wasn’t a friendly grin. He looked at Keith as if he’s a particularly choice of morsel on his plate.

“Hello, Keith. I’m Riou from planet Veeld in what Allura told me five universes away from yours,” he introduced himself. “I have tentacles.”

A burst of tentacles appeared from behind him. Keith could only gape at them as one of them encircled his wrist.

It didn’t feel slimy or gross, to Keith’s wonder. It’s soft and strong. _Like Shiro_ , Keith’s mind supplied unhelpfully. He wondered if there would ever be a part of Shiro or his counterpart he didn’t find appealing.

“Our species breeding habit will not be a burden to your body,” said Riou to his ears, just this side of indecent. “We fertilizes the eggs outside your body. We’ll make hundreds of children in no time.”

“Hundreds!” gasped Keith.

“I’ll also fuck you good, _qrovie_.” One tentacle slithered to caress his ass.

“I—I don’t think—hundreds of children is—is—” Keith stammered, trying to focus with one— _two_ tentacles groping his behind. A tentacle glided up to caress his face and hair. He saw more approaching from the corner of his eyes, but he could barely think.

“I don’t think groping him is fair to the rest of us, Riou.”

To Keith’s surprise, it wasn’t Axca or Allura or even Lotor who came to his rescue.

It was another of his Shiro-suitor. Seemingly very human this time. Human skin tone and human ears and human eyes. His hair was dark brown and cropped short. His skin tone is a bit more tanned and he spoke with a distinct accent Keith could not recognize from any culture on earth. But he reminded Keith of _his_ Shiro so much something squeezed at his chest.

This Shiro _blushed_ when Keith’s gaze landed on him. Keith was so in trouble.

“Hi, I’m Xio.”

“Hi Xio,” said Keith, besotted already. “Nice to meet you.”

Xio smiled down at Keith with a charming blush staining his cheek. His gaze made Keith feel like there were only the two of them in the room, despite a tentacle still lingering and molesting his ass.

“You’re, um, very beautiful.”

Keith was pretty sure his color could rival the red lion now. He unconsciously tucked his hair behind his ear like a simpering maiden.

There was a few minutes of precious silence when they gazed at each other in mutual admiration.

Keith wouldn’t have expected the most tame and platonic interaction of the courtship so far was the most threatening to the other suitors in the room.

“Keith!” shouts a Shiro that looked a little bit like tree-people, “Our people releases aphrodisiac pollen while we mate! We can put down so many roots in our future house!”

Just like that, a chaos broke. They all crowded around Keith.

“I have a sprawling kingdom from where I come from! You and our children will want for nothing!”

Wait, they managed to get royalty from other universe to come?

“Keith! I’m from Planet Yoga! Our bodies are very limber, the sex will be unbelievable!”

“I have a really big family that will feed and spoil you and our children for the rest of our days, Keith!”

“Our species have quadruple penises optimized for pleasure! Each are of different sizes and thickness!”

“We are a species entirely made of extremely advanced machinery! I can upgrade and switch out all of my appendages! My cock can increase immensely in size!”

What did Lotor and Allura brief Keith’s Shiro-suitors? Why did all the Shiros think he was some sort of size queen?

“I am also Galran, like you. We can understand each other so well, Keith. We will inherit our Galran culture to our children! Knowledge or death!”

Galran Shiro was so, so, big. They were all so big. And close. Surrounding him.

Keith’s lips were suddenly dry. His throat felt parched.

“We will throw our beautifully fertilized eggs will be into the fire of Atazon and our children will emerge beautifully from its ashes in 3 phoebs!”

What.

“Okay, maybe this is a good time for a break!” Allura voice boomed, barely repressing her laughter. Her usual regal grace was non-existent by how badly her voice and body shook.

Keith was dragged away, gasping, from his clamoring suitors by Axca and Lotor into a small accompanying room. Krolia and Kolivan joined them not long afterwards.

Keith was just beginning to be able to catch his breath when Kolivan asked.

“So do you like any of them? Can you choose yet?”

“...I just met them for fifteen minutes at most!”

Kolivan frowned, confused. And although Kolivan did not move, Keith could see an invisible shrug that practically said ‘so what?’.

“They don’t seem to mind. They like you.”

He could not deal with it right now.

His ire turned to Lotor instead.

“What did you tell them? Why are they… why are they saying those kinds of things to me?”

Lotor actually _giggled_ at his anger, like it was cute. Keith was going to kill him.

“I was merely saying you appreciate a direct approach and this courtship was meant for many future children.”

Keith glare deepened.

“I might also have said that you like a big d—”

Lotor did not finish that sentence, for Keith has punched him in his solar plexus. He did not seem to mind, because his laughter intensifies until he was wheezing, clutching his stomach.

“I gotta send the footage to Lance and Pidge.” To Keith’s horror, he heard a ping confirming that Axca actually did send a footage.

Keith looked around for support and his eyes landed on Krolia.

“Mom, you surely can understand why I don’t want to choose now, right?”

“Of course not, Keith,” Krolia smiled reassuringly, “Take your time. You have all day for this courtship.”

“Wha—a day?”

“Yes?” answered Krolia, uncertain suddenly. “Do you need any more time?”

She looked disappointed. That was unfair. She had always been proud of him.

“Do you not like any of them? From your reaction, I do not think so. If you are undecided, they don’t really mind if you choose more than one.”

Her eyes were now glinting hopefully with what Keith now recognized as _‘I want to hold some grandbabies’_ glint. Keith didn’t know that grandchildren craze was also present in non-terran entities, much less his own mother.

He wanted to reject everyone and accept everyone. It was ridiculous, the thought of another version of Shiro who could possibly want him, much less twenty five of them, filled Keith with want and misery at the same time. He had no emotional capacity to process these conflicts. And even if he was not opposed to having children, he did not expect it to be this soon. Or this weird.

On the other hand, it’s been so long since he last got laid. Blade mission and Voltron leadership did not exactly provide Keith with a lot of opportunities to find a steady bed companion.

When Keith was still contemplating his options, Allura opened the door.

“They settled down, you can come out again and talk to them. They promised to behave this time,” Allura said, smiling.

Keith sighed and stepped out.

All of a sudden, the big entrance doors to the ballroom slammed open.

“STOP!”

All the heads turned towards the door. Keith could barely believe his eyes. It’s Shiro. _His_ Shiro. Accompanied by Kosmo. Kosmo must have teleported him here.

Shiro stormed all the way across the room to Keith. When he arrived, Keith could see the sweat beading across his brows. He was panting.

Shiro seemed lost for words, he did not say anything. He just stared and gaped at the sight of Keith in his full formal Marmoran outfit until Keith felt self-conscious. Did he look that weird?

“Shiro,” Keith started, “Shiro, what are you doing here?”

“I, um,” Shiro stuttered. “I was hanging out with Pidge and Matt. Pidge showed me the video.”

Keith stared at Shiro in want of explanation. What video?

“Your courtship video.” Shiro clarified. “Axca sent it.”

“O… oh…”

“Keith, how come I didn’t know so many things about you? I didn’t know of this event, I didn’t even know you were searching for a husband, I didn’t even know you wanted a lot of children?” asked Shiro, he looked hurt. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I…. uh…” Keith couldn’t find the words for the explanation. He still didn’t understand why this discussion could not wait and why Shiro barged in just to talk about this.

“It doesn’t matter. I can’t let you do this. Not before I told you something.”

“Shiro, I don’t understand.”

“Keith,” Shiro stepped in closer, staring into Keith’s eyes, making Keith forgot where he was, or who was watching. “I love you.”

Keith must be having hallucination. He was hearing things. Things he longed to hear for so long. His mind was playing tricks on him. He felt a prick of tears behind his eyes.

“I have been in love with you for so long, Keith. I didn’t even know when I started. I didn’t dare say anything because I was so afraid it will ruin our friendship too and I couldn’t have that.” Shiro squeezed his fingers gently, reverent. “But I couldn’t let you get married and have a family without telling you first.”

This was real. This was reality. Keith could hardly believe it. Big fat drops of tears were falling down his cheeks.

“I love you too.”

Shiro broke into a grin so ecstatic it could blind Keith, he was so radiant.

“Hey! Then what about us? It’s not fair! He was not even one of the suitors!”

Keith has forgotten about them.

“Wait, are they all… me?” Shiro asked, puzzled.

The room turned raucous.

“Yeah! Most of us didn’t even talk to him yet!” The statement was followed by approving roar it deserved.

“Keith! Just try us in bed first! I’m sure we can fuck you bett—”

“—I can give you dozens of chi—”

“—we have the most creative of sex to—”

Keith couldn’t stand it. Couldn't deal with it. So he did something he had been wanting to do since the beginning. And now he had a way of recourse he took it.

He hugged Kosmo and teleported away.

**Author's Note:**

> And there you go! Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Shiro and Keith will live happily ever after. They waited several years to have their first child, though.
> 
> The alien Shiros may or may not occasionally join them from time to time.
> 
> Talk to me on twitter at [keithbday](https://twitter.com/keithbday)


End file.
